Love is random, and that’s what makes it so great.
I’ve long maintained that I never know who would end up being “the one” for me, and so I’ve just labeled myself as open-minded. Life is long and full of unexpected curve balls, that’s what makes it worth living to me. I like finding out what’s to come next.
My romantic life has been weird and stunted in some ways. I didn’t have my first romantic relationship until after I graduated high school, my parents pressured me into a green card marriage that made me mourn the idea of ever finding my own actual romantic love soon after. I’ve gone through all of the standard and non-standard reasons for heartbreak in relationships. My last relationship ended in the most ridiculous, dramatic scene in which I ended up driving the other woman home.
Then, a month later, I met my current partner. We met online, he sent me a long detailed message about the many reasons I should give him a shot based on the things I wrote in my profile, and after a few days of waffling about what the hell to write back to this clever and ridiculous message, I accepted a date and we met. Coffee turned into shutting the place down, which turned into six hours of conversation about everything from bad dates to CRISPR, which turned into an acceptance of a second date.
On our second date, we went and saw Wonder Woman and out to dinner. I knew my date had taken a day off work that week, so I asked what he did with his day. I got the very awkward, “Do you like surprises presented to you slowly, or would you like it ripped off like a bandaid?” I let him know that I’ve been through so many things in my life that nothing really fazes me anymore. So he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of a really pretty, willowy woman in smoky eye makeup and a little black dress.
“I used to do makeup professionally if you’d ever like me to do yours.” I replied without hesitation. He let me know that he’s having fun learning through Youtube. Then, we talked about how on point Wonder Woman’s eyeliner was in the movie. That night was the first time we had sex, and I smiled when I woke up and saw his painted toenails.
We’ve been together ever since, and it’s almost obnoxious how happy we are together. Our friends definitely see it, his family really likes me, we’ve spent the holidays together. We’ve been around each other in times of high stress and seen each other all gross and sick with snot. And nothing changes, we still look at each other all starry-eyed.
Last weekend we watched the Korean drama movie, “The Beauty Inside”, about a man who changes form from day to day beyond his control. I joked that my limit on shapeshifting is that he can become four people, max. The next morning, he asked me how I’d feel about him going on HRT. He’d been thinking about it for years but there’s a lot of fear involved, and past partners he’s been with have shut down the idea of exploring any of this as an option. He once watched the Powerball numbers come in and thought to himself that if he’d won, he’d want to become a woman and live on a remote island to stay completely unbothered by people.
This whole week has been an emotional roller coaster for me in general. Things are changing in my career and the paths I’m considering taking, I’ve got some new and interesting health challenges to deal with of my own, I got over a foot of hair cut off, but the biggest thing is this. My partner is making the biggest life decision he’s ever had, and coming to terms with who he has felt like he should be this whole time. He’s ready to transition from identifying as male to female. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my sweetheart.
There will be bumps in the road, of course, but we have so many people in our lives that love and support us. Frankly, we’re the lucky ones. And we plan on passing this good fortune forward once we’re ready to do so. We had a very long talk last night about limitations and planning ahead in life for the unexpected. One of the biggest challenges we had to face immediately was the issue of fertility. The only thing that really hit me hard when we discussed all of this was the prospect of having a child. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I want to have a kid one day, and ideally, I’d like to have the experience of pregnancy. And we’ve talked about all of the options we’d have and what to do about it when we’re ready. I think we’d make great parents one day.
We’ve long maintained that neither of us wants the cost of a wedding, but we do want to be married at some point. But this is a huge change for not only him, but both of us. So, to celebrate this change to come, when all is said and done we are going to throw a party. And at that party, we’re getting a cake that says, “We’re Lesbians!”
It’ll be a blast.