Ahoy, sleepy corner of the internet. I am awake, and I might be hungry. I still can’t tell, but I should probably try to eat something just in case. I haven’t had anything since 7am. Yeah, most likely super hungry. I’ll eat something after writing this up.
Today fared much better than yesterday, though that could also possibly be because I took an hour and a half off for lunch to go sign some papers and got lost along the way trying to find a gas station. What do you have against gas stations, suburbs?! I swear unless I am right next to 5 gas stations, there aren’t any for miles. But driving around in the sun and actually taking time away from the desk was probably a good mental reset, drugs or not. I need to remember to take more breaks.
Aside from my detour away I was productive at work; and by the end of the day I was so focused on getting my work done to make up for my long break that it didn’t even matter that I was staying behind by nearly an hour. This must be the laser-like focus everyone talks about. I kept reading about this hyperfocus that people get, and I was convinced that it only applied to people with ADHD who take the medication, or those college students that cram all night that everyone keeps talking about. Generally, I haven’t really had much of a marked difference in how I concentrate on things. I still multitask a ton, a habit that is truly impossible to break. I can talk on the phone, look up stuff on the internet, work on my primary job, listen to podcasts, and answer emails at the same time. None of that is new to how I operate, but maybe I’m just better at it now that I’m not also struggling to stay awake.
I got a response back from my doctor, and she has given me the go ahead to take two pills in the morning and one in the afternoon. This as been a major improvement for me if today is anything to go by, even though I took all 3 at spread out intervals instead of stacked. I’m going to see how it goes tomorrow when I am taking them the way she suggested. 30mg per day seems to be my sweet spot so far, but that could go up or down in the oncoming weeks. I hope it stays at 30mg for a while.
One drawback to being awake: I spent so much of my free time asleep for so long, I have no idea what to do with myself now that I am awake. I already do yoga first thing in the morning, should I find some other way to kill time in the evening? This is what makes people addicted to uppers start cleaning their apartments with their toothbrushes, isn’t it? A wealth of time and boredom after the initial happy feeling.