It's the morning after getting my heart curb stomped. I'm waiting for confirmation that friends are awake for brunch. I put on pants, I'm leaving the house. This is functioning, right?

He said he has been an opportunist his whole life. That he's never put himself out in the world and gone after what he wanted. Whether or not he gets the job in San Francisco, he's leaving. And I'm a safety net. He can't have a safety net. He said he wants to go on a break, because he doesn't want to break up. This makes no sense to me.

Every time I called it his "journey of self discovery", he said I was being condescending. He said he's unhappy, he's got issues he needs to figure out for himself, that I'm clinging to him. He said if I just followed him he'd lose respect for me.


I loved him. I've given him all the love I have and he couldn't do the same. He told me he loves me, he said he still does. He watched me, calm and emotionless, while I sobbed and was clearly in pain. He left when he got upset saying, "I have to leave, can we talk about this Sunday?"

I hope he gets hit by a truck.